May. 16th, 2017

leaveoutalltherest: (Alice)
I'm really hating on life right now. It's been almost seven months without a job. Almost a year since I lost Mia.

I need a job. I need out of this house and into a place of my own. I want a puppy because after fifteen years with a dog running around, I'm finally, -finally- to start feeling lost without one.

I'm just hitting that brick wall where it feels like I've been beating the dead horse for so long that I've started hitting the dirt under it and it's frustrating. There's things I need, and things I want to do, and I can't. I don't have the money, and Di is already stretched thin providing for both of us and she's already working overtime and working on her days off.

To make things worse, this depression is NOT getting better. I'm in a room with no fucking windows (the dinky little 12 inch by 24 inch skylight does not count) and I have to walk all the way to the other end of the house for the bathroom. I have very little of my stuff here, just two small totes, my desktop computer, and maybe 1/3rd of my clothes. Everything else is still in the storage unit back in Iowa with our furniture. So, all my books, my altar stuff, my movies, everything from Mia and Illusion except their ashes and the pictures on the computer, my dead dolls, just... everything. My life is in a storage unit and I can't get to it.

Yeah, I'll stop whining now.


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