Operation: This Isn't Going To End Well

Fri, 15 Sep 2017 06:07:09 GMT

I'm tired.

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Wed, 17 May 2017 05:05:37 GMT

I'm really hating on life right now. It's been almost seven months without a job. Almost a year since I lost Mia.

I need a job. I need out of this house and into a place of my own. I want a puppy because after fifteen years with a dog running around, I'm finally, -finally- to start feeling lost without one.

I'm just hitting that brick wall where it feels like I've been beating the dead horse for so long that I've started hitting the dirt under it and it's frustrating. There's things I need, and things I want to do, and I can't. I don't have the money, and Di is already stretched thin providing for both of us and she's already working overtime and working on her days off.

To make things worse, this depression is NOT getting better. I'm in a room with no fucking windows (the dinky little 12 inch by 24 inch skylight does not count) and I have to walk all the way to the other end of the house for the bathroom. I have very little of my stuff here, just two small totes, my desktop computer, and maybe 1/3rd of my clothes. Everything else is still in the storage unit back in Iowa with our furniture. So, all my books, my altar stuff, my movies, everything from Mia and Illusion except their ashes and the pictures on the computer, my dead dolls, just... everything. My life is in a storage unit and I can't get to it.

Yeah, I'll stop whining now.

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An off duty BP Agent sets the state on fire, and I still don't have a job...

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 23:20:41 GMT

I wish I was making that shit up. The Sawmill Fire here in Southern Arizona has already burned over 47,000 acres, and is still burning. This is a current map of the fire. (Warning, it's a bit big.) Tucson is northwest of the fire by about 40 miles.

This fire was started by an off-duty Border Patrol Agent, who was shooting at explosive targets, during a red flag warning day. According to the National Weather Service, "A Red Flag Warning means that critical fire weather conditions are either occurring or are imminent. A combination of strong winds and low relative humidities can contribute to extreme fire behavior." Alerts like this have been going out for weeks. Yes, this fool tried to put it out and immediately called 911, but he has ultimately lost his job. People and animals, many of them livestock and horses because that is ranch country, have been displaced. An entire town has been evacuated and two others are on pre-evacuation notice.

There are easier, and less costly ways to quit one's job.

And a job is something I'm still looking for. I've been without one since just before Halloween. I moved to Arizona in February after finding out that a)my rent was going up in my house and there was no way I was going to afford it on my own, and b) my brother was planning to move in with his girlfriend, and there was no way I was living with them and five kids, three of which are under the age of seven. So I moved to Tucson with my mother, which I had been planning on anyway, but just a lot sooner than I had planned, and without any money to float me.

Which, is hard. She's paying for everything (Yay for Obamacare, I at least have medical right now.), but it's still hard that she's covering my portion of rent and utilities and buying food and... I've put in close to sixty job apps, and only managed to get two interviews. This isn't counting the crap I was going through back in Iowa when I moved in with my brother and she was paying for my stuff then too.

Finding a job was a lot easier six years ago.

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Wed, 05 Apr 2017 09:03:54 GMT

Alright then, I have removed nearly everyone from my IJ flist, don't know why most of them were still on there since I didn't talk to any of them. Of course, I barely talk to anyone anymore.

Redid this journal AND my IJ journal. And it is now 2am, so I should go to bed instead of giving in to this fun little depression spiral. Because it will just lead to insomnia and migraines if I do. Fun for all, yay.

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Wed, 05 Apr 2017 04:16:52 GMT

In light of the new TOS on Livejournal, and the crap it include, and considering most of the stuff I post on my fic journal when I do write, and the stuff I post when I do post, I have backed up and deleted ALL of my LJ journals. This includes my fanfic journal and all RP journals that had not been deleted and purged.

Most of them hadn't been updated in over 5 years, but better safe than sorry, right?

Thankfully I had already imported my personal and fanfic journals over here to DW, so no hassle there.

I guess it might be time to start using this thing again.

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Time to do this.

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:32:15 GMT

Pictures of my new house on my Flickr account.

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...my cards are spooky.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 02:25:48 GMT

And not because they're an original Vertigo Tarot set. It's because I haven't read them in forever, and I just did a quick 'Past Present Future' and daily card reading. It's a little freaky sometimes.

Past - Eight of Pentacles, reversed.
Present - Eight of Cups, reversed.
Future - Page of Pentacles.

Daily - Hermit, reversed.

I'm sure those of you who know your cards understand what those mean. Those that don't... well, they're just dead on atm, and fit my emotions lately.

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This happened in AIM

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 09:18:35 GMT

So, I was talking with Relly in AIM about a fic I was reading...

Me: This actually came out of someone's brain. And all I can think? Is it's STILL better than Twilight.

Relly: dsfalksdjf;aslkdfja;sdf HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Me: This is my new criteria:
Does it contain uterus chewing?
Does an adult fall in romantic love with a newborn?
Does it contain sparkly creatures?
Is it written by Cassie Claire?

Relly: zvclaksdfasldkfa;elkfaw;eofiwe;flwkeacldckmdsdl;kfasdfasdf

Me: If it contains one: Mock
If it contains more than one: Avoid
If it contains all four: Prepare for zombies.

Relly: So what you're saying is, we need to keep Cassie Claire from plagairizing the Twilight series.

Me: YES!

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State of Kym

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 05:01:52 GMT

So. The stuff with LJ. The migration of people to DW.

It just made me realize, I don't post to EITHER of them anymore. I go there to read what people on my flists do, and to read fic on comms, and to rp.

That's it.

So, I've made a new resolution. I'm going to start posting on my blog at least once a week. I Have Seen the White City is over there, that is where I will be posting my stuff. I will cross-post a link to all new blog posts on DW and LJ. No more money going to LJ, and that way I don't feel guilty for not posting anything.

Here's the latest from me.

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Could today just STOP sucking already?

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:57:46 GMT

First, on my way to Phoenix for work today, I got to enjoy two hours trapped on the interstate between two semis because of this wonderful mess.

Which, meant that by the time everything was done and over with and I got off the interstate (they were making everyone get off at this one exit) and back to where I needed to be, I was 2 & 1/2 hours behind. So, instead of being out of Phoenix and home by 5:30, I didn't make it home until 8.

Add in the headache from driving after dark and dealing with my three oh-so-favorite things (Shiny reflective trailers, bright headlights and confining construction zones), I am a bit bitchy and tired. Plus, I screwed up my shoulder somehow because I have sharp pains shooting down my arm and across my shoulder blade.

The icing on the cake? I just checked my email and PetAirways fucking CANCELLED Sage and Ruby's (new puppies) flight, but I shouldn't worry because they'll credit the cost of the flight to a future ticket, whenever they decide to start taking reservations again. So, I get to call and yell at them tomorrow to refund my fucking money so I can find another way to get them down here.

Where's the restart button?

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Well, 2010 started off with a bang.

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 22:43:29 GMT

Really, it could have been worse.

Di is home. They still have no idea what caused the A-Fib, but she's to lay low and if her heart rate gets up again, she's to go directly to the ER. Which, just, does not need to happen again because once was more than enough. Seriously. As it is, they've got her on diltiazen or something like that for the foreseeable future.

Seriously, I think it's time to clone me a new body, because what I'm getting from the family is going to SUCK.

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It's getting to be that time of year.

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 19:55:44 GMT

When I start throwing things out, redoing things and just... adjusting to being me. I have a LOT to be thankful for this season.

I finally made the move south, and am now in Tucson, AZ.

I have a damn good job, with people I like to work for and great clients.

I have some truly awesome friends.

School is still plodding along, slowly, but still going.

I haven't been sick (besides minor allergy attacks) since I moved here.

I have a little sister. Yes, she is 30 years younger than me, but still, I have her.

My dad and I had an actual conversation on the phone last night that was GOOD.

So far, my brothers are doing well with their own lives.

Di has doctors here that PAY ATTENTION and are actually working to get her help. Hell, she can actually get medical assistance here so that they CAN take care of things.

And yeah, there have been setbacks (just like there would have been back in Omaha), and yes we miss people, but I have to look at the positives. Because like I heard, once you start counting your regrets instead of your blessings, you've already lost the game.

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I am so happy to be HOME

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:09:10 GMT

What do I mean by that?

The dogs are sleeping, one on the couch, the other at the foot of Di's bed. (Grendel is nearly housebroke AGAIN, and has claimed Di's closet and the end/side of her bed as his spots.)

The stereo is up at a decently loud level (we can still hear one another), playing classic rock.

The house is cool, but the a/c is not on.

One loaf of banana bread is in the oven, the other is waiting to go in. (one loaf with walnuts, one without)

Meat is slowcooking for enchiladas. The homemade enchilada sauce is simmering and nearly done.

The tv is off, no need to turn it on until House comes on.

I'm... happy. Yes, I said it. :D I even got up, cleaned my room and mopped the floor, and helped with the living room without feeling all 'blah' about it.

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...

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:07:56 GMT

I give up and I'm going to bed before the evil bitch that is Illusion starts her nightly ritual of knocking everything over and constantly waking me up. (Seriously. Chasing lizards across the windows, batting at HERSELF in the mirror on the dresser, knocking stuff off the table and dresser, scratching at the door until I let her either in or out.) I get woke up at least eight times a night.

Since, you know, since I can't afford to get her tranqs so that I can sleep.

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