leaveoutalltherest | Dear fucking gods, this sounds like my job. (Reply)

From Bash.org

we have a database table with fifteen million rows in it.
they brought a manual database change in.
"please print a table dump before and after you make the change."
nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!
there are fifteen million rows in the table. if you want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes sense. but do you really want a *book*?
"our policy says that we need a printout."
hahaha
oooookay.
print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)
"that's not MY policy."
no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.
what font size? how many lines per page?
Poor trees
They'll only want it once.
when someone asks why we've gone through three toner cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them to the twit.
shrink the font till it fits on one page :)
purl, 15000000 / 66
227272.727272727
!
purl, 227272 / 5000
45.4544
45 cases of paper :-)
at 66 lines per page
and after he makes the changes...