Kym's Guide To Surviving Thanksgiving

[leaveoutalltherest]

Unbag turkey.

Stick hand in turkey to pull out neck and assorted organs.

Curse about how fucking cold it is.

Rinse off and out turkey.

Curse when turkey slips and slams down on your hand in the sink.



Get that damn turkey in the bag.

Tie bag.

Realize you forgot the stuffing.

Curse.

Mix up stuffing.

Open the damn bag and stuff the fucking turkey.

Close bag, put the bird in the oven that you remembered to preheat.

Mix yourself up a Pierced Fuzzy Navel.

• 1 2 shots of Peach Schnapps.


• Orange juice to almost fill glass


• 1 2 shots of Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila

Tell family that the damn bird won't be done until 3 or so and if they don't like it, fuck off.



How's YOUR Thanksgiving been so far?

Comments

[dontwantmeback.livejournal.com]

Well I have got a slidey desk! Yours sounds more interesting though.

Oh also I burned myself on my ridiculously hot coffee.

[yoritomo-reiko.livejournal.com]

My Thanksgiving has been fine. Other than just when I was getting the frozen breast joint out of the freezer, I realized I'd bought chicken instead of turkey. I really should know better.

Ah well. It's not like I'm not going to be turkeyed up this next month. And I can always grab turkey on a Thursday night when I have time to cook it. (Which is why we don't have turkey more often.)