You know you're from....
Jul. 28th, 2010 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leaveoutalltherestGo to Google, type in 'you know you're from (Insert Country or State)and copy the jokes you find listed. Bold the ones you agree with.
You buy salsa by the gallon. - Buy? No, we make it.
Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever. >.>
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".
You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. - I never thought this would happen, but it did.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River. - Frequently. People need to fix this shit.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. - And they don't work if the humidity level is up.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting. - *shudders*
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees. - Actually done that, but 100? No. More like 70.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. - Poor bastards.
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees. - Yep.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are. - THE POOL?!?! Try the water coming out of the cold side of the tap!!!!!
You can make sun tea instantly. - Five minutes, tops.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace. - I've had clients who did this.
Most homes have more firearms than people.
Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts. - Nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
The AC is on your list of best friends.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds. <.<
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one. Too fucking true.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo". - Guilty.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.
You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car. - Not just the car, the step ladder in the trunk.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......" - More like, "in case of fire..."
When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.
1. You graduated from a high school that had a geographical direction for a name.
2. You know exactly what and where Counciltuckey is, and you stay away from it. I RESENT THIS ONE. And it's Council Bluffs, bastards.
3. You call anything past Elkhorn “the rest of Nebraska.”
4. You consider Omaha the one true capital; Lincoln’s just your retarded little brother.
5. You take pride in the fact that the Cheesecake Factory just opened; it makes you cosmopolitan.
6. You know where to find the underground music scene, and mourned the loss of the Ranch Bowl. - Homers.
7. You cried when the Woodhouse car guy died.
8. You know what Marlon Brando, Henry Fonda, and Malcom X have in common.
9. You have visited the Amazon rain forest, the Antarctic circle, and the Sahara Desert all in a day. - More than once, and several times a week.
10. You worked at our Omaha world famous Zoo at some point in your life. - Guilty.
11. You call anything past 90th “way out there.” - 15 years ago, it was all cornfields.
12. You know what “annexing” means. - Poor Elkhorn.
13. You know what The Beef is. And yes, you know their cheer.
14. You know (and cringe at) Mulberry Lane. - *SHUDDERS* Hell, I worked for their MOM.
15. You think the only good thing to come out of Lincoln is the Huskers. - HACKCOUGHGAG NONONONO!!!!
16. You have never been to the panhandle.
17. You are sick and tired of being asked if you have electricity every time you step out of the state.
18. You judge a person’s socioeconomic income by the street number in their address.
19. You open your front lawn up for parking during CWS and charge ten bucks.
20. You have seen the Christmas Carol with “that one guy” at least four hundred times.
21. You have bought tickets for the one yearly Broadway show six months in advance.
22. You have never stepped foot on a farm.
23. You remember October of 1997 because you didn’t have to do jack squat for five days.
24. Snow Days have slowly become an endangered species.
25. You know what a Hy Vee is.
26. You have eaten at Johnny’s, Caniglia’s, AND Mr. C’s. - All of which is CLOSED now.
27. You know everything about Warren Buffet’s love life. - Hell, I know where his house is.
28. You say you’re going to a “cheapee” whenever you watch a movie at Westwood or the Stockyards.
29. You judge the popularity of a movie by how long it takes it to transfer to the Westwood or the Stockyards.
30. You wouldn’t dream of ever using public transportation and would die rather than walk somewhere.
31. You know all about the middle lane of Dodge. 7am - 9am, it's EASTBOUND ONLY, all other hours, WESTBOUND ONLY. And never turn LEFT off of Dodge. NEVER. Even if it is legal to do so into a private residence or business, DO NOT DO IT.
32. One of your parents worked for Mutual of Omaha or Con Agra.
33. You don’t find anything weird about it being sunny when you walk into a building and find it monsooning when you walk out. - That didn't change when I moved to Tucson.
34. There are no Republicans and Democrats; it’s Republicans and “those damn hippies.” - No, it's Democrats and the rest of the damn state.
35. You or someone you knew was an extra in “About Schmidt.”
36. You know what “About Schmidt” is. - Jack Nicholson film, shot in Omaha.
37. A perfectly acceptable speed when driving is 90 miles an hour.
38. You live on a street named after a dead guy.
39. You can count every time you saw Omaha on CNN.
40. You cringe when you hear “River City Roundup,” but you still go to it every year.
41. You live either down a hill, on the slope of a hill, or on top of a hill. - You only live on a flat street in North O or WAY West O.
42. You can tell the difference between Rob McCartney and John Knicely (although you’re sure they’re both evil clones …) - THEY ARE!!!
43. You, too, wished Bush had stayed in Louisiana on 9/11.
44. You love Caffeine Dreams. - I miss Caffeine Dreams.
45. You know the difference between Dundee, Benson, Bellevue, and Papillion (and you know how to pronounce them). - Dundee is central, Benson is north, Bellevue is south, Papillion is stuck up.
46. You’ve been to the midnight movie and know the staff by first name.
47. You take construction into consideration when guessing how long it will take to get somewhere.
48. You know what the term “river rats” means. - *glares*
49. You go downtown more than once a week. - Lived and worked there for over 3 years.
50. You go to Hummel Park in search of albinos. - *falls over LAUGHING* Dared people to do it too.
51. You get annoyed when people go the speed limit on Dodge Street.
52. The only color in the world is RED. - Damn Husker fans.
53. You think a yellow traffic light is the same as a green light and a red light only counts if it has been red for more then 5 seconds or so. <.<
54. You drink at Paulie’s during the CWS, The Crescent Moon for Oktoberfest, and the Dubliner for St. Patrick’s Day.
55. If the sight of an Iowa driver reminds you to keep your distance. - The sight of NE drivers makes me keep my distance too. Missouri ones make me turn off onto a different street.
You buy salsa by the gallon. - Buy? No, we make it.
Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever. >.>
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".
You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. - I never thought this would happen, but it did.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River. - Frequently. People need to fix this shit.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. - And they don't work if the humidity level is up.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting. - *shudders*
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees. - Actually done that, but 100? No. More like 70.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. - Poor bastards.
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees. - Yep.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are. - THE POOL?!?! Try the water coming out of the cold side of the tap!!!!!
You can make sun tea instantly. - Five minutes, tops.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace. - I've had clients who did this.
Most homes have more firearms than people.
Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts. - Nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
The AC is on your list of best friends.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds. <.<
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one. Too fucking true.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo". - Guilty.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.
You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car. - Not just the car, the step ladder in the trunk.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......" - More like, "in case of fire..."
When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.
1. You graduated from a high school that had a geographical direction for a name.
2. You know exactly what and where Counciltuckey is, and you stay away from it. I RESENT THIS ONE. And it's Council Bluffs, bastards.
3. You call anything past Elkhorn “the rest of Nebraska.”
4. You consider Omaha the one true capital; Lincoln’s just your retarded little brother.
5. You take pride in the fact that the Cheesecake Factory just opened; it makes you cosmopolitan.
6. You know where to find the underground music scene, and mourned the loss of the Ranch Bowl. - Homers.
7. You cried when the Woodhouse car guy died.
8. You know what Marlon Brando, Henry Fonda, and Malcom X have in common.
9. You have visited the Amazon rain forest, the Antarctic circle, and the Sahara Desert all in a day. - More than once, and several times a week.
10. You worked at our Omaha world famous Zoo at some point in your life. - Guilty.
11. You call anything past 90th “way out there.” - 15 years ago, it was all cornfields.
12. You know what “annexing” means. - Poor Elkhorn.
13. You know what The Beef is. And yes, you know their cheer.
14. You know (and cringe at) Mulberry Lane. - *SHUDDERS* Hell, I worked for their MOM.
15. You think the only good thing to come out of Lincoln is the Huskers. - HACKCOUGHGAG NONONONO!!!!
16. You have never been to the panhandle.
17. You are sick and tired of being asked if you have electricity every time you step out of the state.
18. You judge a person’s socioeconomic income by the street number in their address.
19. You open your front lawn up for parking during CWS and charge ten bucks.
20. You have seen the Christmas Carol with “that one guy” at least four hundred times.
21. You have bought tickets for the one yearly Broadway show six months in advance.
22. You have never stepped foot on a farm.
23. You remember October of 1997 because you didn’t have to do jack squat for five days.
24. Snow Days have slowly become an endangered species.
25. You know what a Hy Vee is.
26. You have eaten at Johnny’s, Caniglia’s, AND Mr. C’s. - All of which is CLOSED now.
27. You know everything about Warren Buffet’s love life. - Hell, I know where his house is.
28. You say you’re going to a “cheapee” whenever you watch a movie at Westwood or the Stockyards.
29. You judge the popularity of a movie by how long it takes it to transfer to the Westwood or the Stockyards.
30. You wouldn’t dream of ever using public transportation and would die rather than walk somewhere.
31. You know all about the middle lane of Dodge. 7am - 9am, it's EASTBOUND ONLY, all other hours, WESTBOUND ONLY. And never turn LEFT off of Dodge. NEVER. Even if it is legal to do so into a private residence or business, DO NOT DO IT.
32. One of your parents worked for Mutual of Omaha or Con Agra.
33. You don’t find anything weird about it being sunny when you walk into a building and find it monsooning when you walk out. - That didn't change when I moved to Tucson.
34. There are no Republicans and Democrats; it’s Republicans and “those damn hippies.” - No, it's Democrats and the rest of the damn state.
35. You or someone you knew was an extra in “About Schmidt.”
36. You know what “About Schmidt” is. - Jack Nicholson film, shot in Omaha.
37. A perfectly acceptable speed when driving is 90 miles an hour.
38. You live on a street named after a dead guy.
39. You can count every time you saw Omaha on CNN.
40. You cringe when you hear “River City Roundup,” but you still go to it every year.
41. You live either down a hill, on the slope of a hill, or on top of a hill. - You only live on a flat street in North O or WAY West O.
42. You can tell the difference between Rob McCartney and John Knicely (although you’re sure they’re both evil clones …) - THEY ARE!!!
43. You, too, wished Bush had stayed in Louisiana on 9/11.
44. You love Caffeine Dreams. - I miss Caffeine Dreams.
45. You know the difference between Dundee, Benson, Bellevue, and Papillion (and you know how to pronounce them). - Dundee is central, Benson is north, Bellevue is south, Papillion is stuck up.
46. You’ve been to the midnight movie and know the staff by first name.
47. You take construction into consideration when guessing how long it will take to get somewhere.
48. You know what the term “river rats” means. - *glares*
49. You go downtown more than once a week. - Lived and worked there for over 3 years.
50. You go to Hummel Park in search of albinos. - *falls over LAUGHING* Dared people to do it too.
51. You get annoyed when people go the speed limit on Dodge Street.
52. The only color in the world is RED. - Damn Husker fans.
53. You think a yellow traffic light is the same as a green light and a red light only counts if it has been red for more then 5 seconds or so. <.<
54. You drink at Paulie’s during the CWS, The Crescent Moon for Oktoberfest, and the Dubliner for St. Patrick’s Day.
55. If the sight of an Iowa driver reminds you to keep your distance. - The sight of NE drivers makes me keep my distance too. Missouri ones make me turn off onto a different street.