Scattering the ashes and replanting the seeds

[leaveoutalltherest]

The last year and eight months have been... enlightening. And I really wish I could find that big 'Redo' button and push it.

I trusted someone. Someone I talked to, someone I met, someone I considered one of my best friends. I was an emotional support for this person, I invited her into my home and offered her a place to live.

I was burnt, badly. Badly enough that I don't know if I ever want to trust someone like that again.

The thing is, I'm not the only one who trusted this person. I'm not the only one who got burnt and has been left to pick up the pieces. I'm not the only one who alienated people who I believed were being deliberately cruel to this person, only to find out different now.

Now, we're finding out that promises were made, promises she had no intention on going through on. We're finding out she told some of us one thing, and others a completely different story. She led us to believe things about other people that weren't true, making herself and her child out to be the injured ones. We're speaking and realising that not all of the pieces we have match. She lied, manipulated and conned us all.

Yes, we were conned. And now that she feels she's run through as much as she can, now that people have caught on, she's cut her ties and left us with the mess.

The truth? Willow used us all. She said things about myself and my family, making us out to be the Big Evils, forgetting to mention her own part in the mess. She failed to mention that all those times she talked about going out to get a job, she never left the house, leaving my mother and I to pick up the slack when she was unable to pay her full portion of the rent. All the times that someone snapped at her daughter, was because her daughter is a rude, disrespectful child, and she lets that child act like that. A child who was so overbearing and bullying, that her former classmates here kept telling everyone how happy they were that she was gone. Everytime she was left to 'babysit' other people's children, was because her daughter asked if those children could come down and play. She convinced me that all those who were my online friends, the people I introduced her to, actually hated me and only put up with me because of her. She even lied to those very same people, then cried (literally, CRIED) about how innocent she was and how dare they accuse her of those evil acts when she was confronted about them.

So, to my former roommate. Bravo, a job well done. I hope I never see or hear from you again.

Comments

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

People like that - they rely on miscommunication and on the tendency of people to take them at their word, without really consulting with the other parties to corroborate what's being said. Once they do, things start looking odd, or don't match up. I've been there in RL. It was heartbreaking.

You didn't deserve to go through that. Time to burn the remains of what's left and move on. Those who care enough about you will know the truth about who you are, and that's really what matters.

[leaveoutalltherest]

*hugs*

[mephron]

Part of me wants to hear again. I want to know why someone would so abuse my hospitality, under my own roof, and do this to me. I've considered going to Kentucky to find out and ask why.

And at the same time, at the end, it would mean nothing.

[leaveoutalltherest]

*hugs*

[ursa-mater.livejournal.com]

Would you believe I have thought the same thing? Wanting to go to Kentucky, wanting to just know the reason why?

But in the end, I'm afraid she'd suck me in again, another story, another... fuckit, what's the use?

I'm very sorry for the way you were treated, and if I had a hand in it I apologize. If there is any way I can make up some small part of the loss you had, please let me know.

[mephron]

As best as I can tell, you had the smallest part in it, and that was only being there at a particular time. Nothing more than that.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

...I am very sorry that that happened.

I could say a lot of things about what I noticed, how worried I was for people I knew were helping her, but in the end...it was none of my business. And that means I need to shut up on that part now.

Anyway, *hugs* to you, to mephron, who it seems also got munched, and to the third I know for sure she went to for help.

Also....she sounds a lot like the ex. And that's all I'll say.

[leaveoutalltherest]

If things hadn't been happening at the same time, I would wonder.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

Well, you know how it is--20/20 hindsight and all that. And from personal experience, I can say it's hard to see when you're in the middle of it, and that's regardless of whether or not there's other things going on at the time.

Anyway, like I said, I'm really sorry about all of this. I feel bad for all of you guys--at the time I could easily pass it off as just me seeing things from the outside and not knowing everything going on. It's not really comforting to know I was at least semi-right, but by the same token...since I was on the outside, saying something about it wasn't the wisest thing I could do. Which blows, because no one should have to deal with that sort of crap. Ever.

[foenix.livejournal.com]

=(

That blows.

[leaveoutalltherest]

*looks at icon* Shouldn't he be on fire?

[foenix.livejournal.com]

No, he's wearing a protective fire suit!

[just-shai.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sorry for disappearing, I got dragged away to get my bro his social security card so he doesn't get fired.

[simply-blah.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[littlemiss-aj.livejournal.com]

Kym, you are awesomesauce and a better RP-er + infinity, not to mention a better online friend since you don't just forget someone as soon as the next latest trend comes along.

It's kind of good to hear another side of the story for a change. I hope things start picking up for you in 2008.

[aristoboule.livejournal.com]

Wow, I so don't miss her at all, and the PMs she'd send me were boggling to say the least, and how she treated you and so many others was just disgusting.

So when she asked me for $800? I went out and had an $800 dinner (alas, I didn't shit gold at the end) and it was a far better investment IMO, howver crass and wasteful of me it was.

She sucks and I hope she stays offline forever, since that'd be best for everyone.

[ursa-mater.livejournal.com]

I have... so many emotions twisted up in all this. Guilt that I couldn't help her enough, pain that I wasn't enough, not me, not my family or friends, not the time I spent or the money to fly out there and help her; anger, disappointment, loss... I don't know all the answers, I'm still left in the dark about so many people, so many times or situations; so many things said; I'm just... yea.

Just... nothing to say I guess. *hugs* I'm so sorry that it turned out for you the way it did. So sorry for all the people that got burned, and hurt, who got lied to or deceived or... all of it.

I'm so sorry.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

Just a note that that third hug I mentioned up-thread was for you, sweetie. Just so you know, because I know you bent over backwards for her.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Help her enough? Surely you jest, for you did so much. In time you will see, with the clarity of emotional distance, the constant in all this, the tangled web that was being spun the whole while. You tried, as did we all, to help a friend.

[ardath_rekha]

You have nothing to apologize for, IMO. You're one of the people she burned the worst. You went to herculean lengths to help her, out of some of the purest and most unselfish love I've ever seen anyone display, and she made you feel inadequate for it. If anything, I maybe owe you an apology, because there were several times when I wanted to warn you about her but kept my mouth shut.

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

I wondered somewhat at her inability to find a job, any job when she was there.

But, I never heard from her, that I can recall, that you were evil.

I think I was leary of her, because she was one of the big players in the transgressions com, and a chunk of those folks left me w/ a not so good impression on how they view others.

She wanted to buy books off me for the kidlet, but never contacted me once she got back to KY. Sooo... I will put them back up on CL & see if anyone wants them.

[leaveoutalltherest]

...she hardly ever played on Trans. That was me and Lee, but not Willow.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Amen.

I have to admit it is very hard not to be bitter, for we also took her in, in good faith, and paid dearly, with a similar experience, except that we were not involved in her RP worlds or dramas.

We too wanted to believe her, before the stealing, entitlement, refusal to work or pay bills/rent, ripped open rent envelopes, lies and promises, the drama and stories, the phony tears, but I will never forgive what that child did to one of our pets while we were away, or how w lied for her, that's when it began to unravel for her. I try to find some good in it, to forget the smells, the mess, the whole hellish experience, but until recently I carried this house financially for almost a year to great hardship, it was better than taking in another roommate. She gave a phony address when she left owing a lot of money, after stealing a large number of books from the local library. It's just not worth going after her, I want rid of her, for I don't trust what I'd do to her.

I am sure she thinks she got away with it all, but the gods help her if she ever shows her face to Me again. I find it hard to trust, and am less inclined to go out on a limb to help another right now, I'm not one who will be taken advantage of twice. People have figured her out, the more people she screws and runs.

[leaveoutalltherest]

The sad part, is that even after she moved, I still tried to help her. I sent her links to places in the area where she could get help in finding a place to live, a job.

And now, I'm wondering if that brat had anything to do with my dog that came up missing. The one that she didn't like.

[aristoboule.livejournal.com]

Wait, what?! Hurint and abusing animals? Wow, that's just really freaking sick of her, but after all she's done, sadly, maybe I shouldn't be that surprised.

[leaveoutalltherest]

Our one dog, Kodi, was a border collie/black lab fix. Loveable, fun, but loud and a jumper, no matter how many training courses/methods we used.

I came home from class one day about three, and let him out in the yard. As he's a jumper of people AND fences, he had to be placed on a lead. I went out at 3:45 to let him in, and he was gone. Di is now wondering if Abby let him go or had someone do it for her.

[aristoboule.livejournal.com]

ACK. I remember you saying that he'd gone missing, and had looked for him, but wow, that's just horrible. I really hope karma bites them both in the ass and HARD.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Well, twice our indoor cats were found outside, and that has not happened since, much like the ripped rent envelope. The worst was coming home from a Potter convention in New Orleans to find our little black milksnake gone from his tank, and the waterbowl of the much larger kingsnake below filled with blood and long stringy meat. I wanted so bad to believe them, as this was too much to bear, but it turns out w lied to cover this up, there were some obvious signs I tried to ignore. Our tanks are pretty much escape proof, and the tank was below the newly empty one, impossible for a snake to pull this one off, and no one else in the house. I regret and have a hard time forgiving myself for not just throwing them out then, physically. It only got worse.

[leaveoutalltherest]

It was shortly before she moved from your place that she started saying how rude and cruel you, Draco and the other roommate were to Abby. I stopped speaking to her then, because it started sounding too much like the things that were getting back to me that she had said about my mother and aunt.

I'm deeply sorry about the snake. I wish there was a way to bring her to justice for all the things she and that child have done.

[ardath_rekha]

...Augh. There goes any "that poor kid, having to be raised like a mother like that" impulses I might have had. Dear God that's sick. *Sends hugs from a total stranger, HI!* I think that's the worst thing I've heard yet. And I thought I'd heard (and thought) a lot of awful things about her.

[leaveoutalltherest]

Dath, this is the child who would be rude and loud and nasty to other ADULTS in the house, but only got yelled at when she bothered her mother. This same child gets every damn thing she wants, when she wants it. She would get weekly care packages when she lived with us, throw a TANTRUM if the McDonald's card wasn't in there, and it would be sent the next day.

My aunt works at the school where she went. Kids kept telling my aunt how happy they were that the little brat moved. She was mean to everyone, knew everything better than the teacher, was CRUEL to the ones who had problems speaking english, and her mother DEFENDED her.

[ardath_rekha]

Ugh. I really wanted to think it was just... her mother's mis-parenting that was making her a brat, but the more I'm hearing now, the more it sounds like she's actually going to grow up to be an even more frightening individual.

[leaveoutalltherest]

Oh, trust me, w's misparenting doesn't help. So many days that they would sleep through the alarm and instead of making a go to school when they woke up, they would just stay home. Or days a would just SAY she was sick, and w would let her stay home.

[ardath_rekha]

That kid is in for an awful shock once the world stops cooperating with her sense of self-importance and entitlement. For everybody's sake, I hope it's sooner rather than later. But ugh. I wish there was some way to do real-life retcons and make it so that none of us ever had to know them.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Oh it was awful to have to come to terms that the child had done this, that they didn't care and were so cruel to animals, and all this time living under my roof, and off my money. They came with two ferrets that were so infested with ants and filth that it was a miracle they were alive. A friend took them in, cleaned them, restored them to health, and still has them, they are now the friendliest, loveliest things, not the poor infested things that they had been. My friend, who doesn't know w, said that there was an almost tangible cloud over the ferrets. w and a never mentioned them at all, not since they were removed from the moving truck she had stolen and never did pay for.

[aristoboule.livejournal.com]

*boggles* That's just... wow, there really are no words for it. Another person who got caught up in this and fell for the act had given her money to help move and she ended up using it to buy one of those ferrets. Call me crazy, but I've no idea of the ferret-mule train you'd need to go from Oklahoma to Massachusetts, but uh, yeah. And I'm sorry too, for you and your pets to have to go through that.

[ardath_rekha]

WOW. My God, she went off-the-charts there. That's just horrific. I'm glad that the ferrets have recovered from all of that.

...She stole the moving truck? *AGOG*

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she had it from the cross country move, and snuck it back one night, never paid. Ah well, live and learn, but she'll get back what she's given, the universe will see to that.

[ardath_rekha]

Gah. That's just... wow. I'm suddenly amazed there aren't any arrest warrants out for her.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

She may, but I don't care, I am just glad she's gone.

[ardath_rekha]

*Sending MAJOR hugs!*

We all kept trying to help her, even when we knew she was being horrible to us. She was so good at keeping people from comparing notes, checking questionable claims... so good at making it sound like she was the only reason that someone else would even give us the time of day. There were a lot of people I just... quietly stopped trying to talk to because I figured that surely Willow had made me persona non grata with them... and probably they figured she'd done that to them with me, and the whole time, we'd all have gotten along spectacularly well without her antics.

It sounds like the daughter is going to be even worse than the mother when she's grown. Animal abuse is one of the classic signs of a fledgling psychopath, after all. God, that's a hideous thought.

*HUGS LOTS*